Two weeks ago this morning, my sweet Shyra‘s prayers were finally answered. They weren’t answered in the way I had hoped. My hopes were finite, earthly, and selfish. And rightly so. She is my sister! I wanted Shyra to get better. I wanted many more years with her. I wanted to see Shyra become a mother. I wanted my children to have cousins. I wanted to babysit her kids and encourage her to be the greatest mother she could be, as she did for me. I wanted to see her pursue her dreams and encourage her to be a better wife than I ever was. That’s what I wanted. But then I look back at the conversations with her and where her focus was. It was so simple, so purposeful. This isn’t about what I wanted. Her life was in God’s hands and I even though I may never understand why she left us so soon, I am trying to learn to accept it and focus on all the good times. And If I can’t, then I will get therapy. 😉
All she wanted since her diagnosis and the rapid growth of her tumor, were three things:
To not be in pain
To be home
To see her family get along
Little did we know that these things she wanted were going to be given to her in death. It sounds so morbid and unfair, yet maybe in her mind she knew all along, that those three things could only be achieved in the heavenly realms. Truth is, as of 2 weeks ago, Shyra is no longer in pain. And Shyra is home with her Heavenly Father.
And as far as the 3rd thing, well, we are working on it, sis! Looking back, we all just wanted to save you. The fear of losing you made us all crazy. And now that the battle for your life is over, there’s no point in fighting. You are at peace and so should we. We will get there. One moment at a time. One step at time. One day at a time.
This week, all your friends and family are flying in to honor your life. We have your burial and your celebration of life. It’s going to be a tough week, but now we get the opportunity to share with one another all the love you poured out on us in your precious 33 years of life. I love you and miss you.
Today, you can read Shyra’s obituary in the San Diego Tribune as well as online at www.legacy.com. The newspaper version will be shorter due to space issues and printing guidelines, but the online version will be longer and should show up online in full later today.
I will be buying out all the copies I can find today, so good luck beating me to it! I plan to make copies and have them available at her Memorial Ceremony on Saturday.